We are well into the trenches of our home study. My dining room has turned into an office (don't judge, we have no formal office in our home and instead use the loft area as a playroom/office with the desk set up there) because I needed more space for all the papers. I have them laid into careful piles, paper clipped together, with post-it notes adorning each pile so I know what is done, still needs to be done, or is partially done. We moved our interview and paperwork due date appointment up by a week and half. I feel frazzled and like my head is spinning atop my body most days.
One of our pastors is working through 1 Samuel right now and a couple weeks ago talked about God's providential hand in our lives. I have thought a lot about how I got to this point in my life since that Sunday. It is nice to reflect upon how God has seamlessly sewed my story together. I think being able to have faith that God is in control of my life, if I don't stand in the way, makes the hard moments able to be endured. It doesn't make hard stuff easy, but it allows the comfort to be received amidst the very bumpy road.
There have been several times in the last two and half weeks since V left that it takes nothing more than the wind blowing to bring tears to my eyes and my heart to ache again. The road that we are on is hard right now, but I know it could be more difficult. Raising three young girls, each with their own unique challenges, working full time, heaping loads of paperwork onto my desk, planning and executing several fundraisers, maintaining relationships, and then being separated from a child isn't a fun thing to do! But by looking at the past and how God has always brought events in my life together for good, makes enduring each heart ache worth it. So here is a dot-to-dot of how God's providential hand brought us to this point right now. At each point I had the free will to make choices but God ultimately laid each step in front of me to make one choice or another. I firmly believe that most (not all because I'm a sinner) of the choices I made were following God's will for my life and I am so glad because He is giving us one more child to minister and love.
1) lack of work in Nebraska brought my parents to Indiana which lead to me being born and raised here
2) in high school I met Anna and became friends with her
3) Anna's dad was a pastor of a local Bible believing church
4) Anna invited me to youth group after a conversation about my church's youth group and how I felt disconnected.
5) I connected with many other friends and was being fed solid truths while going there
6) After turning 18 I decided to start going to that church full time with my parent's blessing
7) My parents visited and eventually left the church I grew up in and started going to my church.
8) I spied my future husband but was too shy to ever say hello or form a friendship.
9) God placed Josh at Word of Life Bible Institute which kept us apart
10) I was given a substantial scholarship to University of Evansville which took me away from Indy
11) Josh joined a missionary traveling singing team through Word of Life and was in Canada my first year of college
12) Through going to University of Evansville, I had the opportunity to study abroad in England right when Josh was coming back home from Canada which kept us apart even longer. We both had some choices to make and growing to do.
13) While 9-12 was going on, Josh's mom and my mom became close friends.
14) I dated another guy the summer after returning from England and he broke my heart (so thankful he did).
15) Six months after the heart breaking break up, our moms hatched a plan to put us in the same house for an evening. Our families had dinner together and we talked for the first time for more than five minutes!
16) We began dating, got engaged, and got married within 18 months of the first dinner!
18) We left the church we met at and looked for a new church bringing us to Grace Bible Church.
17) Through many other instances in our lives we both had developed a heart for foster care and adoption and after we got married decided to begin the process of foster care.
18) Surprise! We were pregnant and decided to put foster care on hold.
19) Over the next six years we had two more babies, which brought on a need for a change in housing location for school and childcare.
20) I would love to hear the details of how one family at our church was brought to Grace Bible Church since they became a part of our story of bring V to us. But they started going to Grace Bible not too long after we started there. It was through this family that we first learned about orphan hosting.
21) Amidst moving our family of 5 to a new house the same year I started a new job I choose to click on a link about New Horizons for Children.
22) Hyacynth wrote a blog entry for New Horizons that softened my heart and Josh's nine days before the end of summer matching and lead us to choosing to host.
23) Hyacynth went to church with my brother and sister-in-law, unbeknownst to me, which lead to a time of prayer and encouragement when we were connected which helped as we began to raise $2500 in nine days!
24) We hosted L and fell in love with Ukraine and its people. L wasn't able to be adopted so we weren't able to pursue adoption.
25) A year later through lots of prayer we knew God wanted us to adopt and He placed V into our family for the summer 2016 hosting season.
25 steps later (with lots of side veins that bled into our lives, I am sure) we were given V! Starting way back at the beginning with my dad not being able to find work in Nebraska was God's hand at work in bring V to us over 30 years later. What a beautiful tapestry of God's handiwork. He is so mighty and powerful!
"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" Psalm 8:9
"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2
It is good to recount all of God's wonderful deeds in our lives. I pray someday V will be able to look at all the events of her life and praise God for each hard and easy moment that brought her to that moment in her life. I pray too for her salvation!
Upcoming Fundraising Events:
September 9th-Origami Owl Party at 7pm
September 17th-Garage Sale
October 1st-Red Barn Harvest Market at the Westerfield Farm beginning at 9am
October TBA: Benefit Concert
Prayer Requests:
1. Home study process to continue to go smoothly
2. Fundraising events
3. V-school will start soon for her and she will be heading back to the boarding school/orphanage
4. V's salvation
5. Strength to sustain us as we juggle everything going on
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Monday, August 8, 2016
"Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside"
I love music. While I love current music, I am also a sucker for the old stuff. There is nothing better than turning the car stereo up really loud when I am by myself and jamming to some oldies. I also adore hymns. I wish we would sometimes belt out some good ol' hymns on a Sunday morning. They are so simple and truthful. One of my earliest memories about music, besides nursery rhymes, is attending Bible Study Fellowship as a very small child. I don't really remember anything about it but it is engraved in my memory when I heard the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness". It is so comforting to me. The lyrics are simple but strong.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.
Refrain:
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.
(Refrain)
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.
"All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided! Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow" are perfect reminders for the season of life we are in right now. I can very quickly become discouraged by the events of life. Friday stunk like an explosive diaper! I hated saying good-bye to V. I was a hot, blubbering mess. I threw a gigantic pity party on Saturday with lots of ice cream, crying, and napping. The ugly got real ugly on Saturday and then Sunday morning arrived and His mercies are new every morning. I didn't want to go to church because I knew sweet, caring friends were going to talk to me and hug me and I was tired of crying. I knew I needed the healing balm of being surrounded by God's word and having the time to focus not on my pain but His glory. I didn't cry and I was thankful, and so were my puffy, painful eyes too! I've never felt more loved than when someone at church said, "I'm just not going to talk to you." and turned and walked away (and that is being honest, not sarcastic). We both have tender hearts about children that are our heart children and not legal children at this moment in time. We would have had to have been scraped up off the floor if either of us had tried to talk to each other about it! The hugs I received were comforting and instead of feeling more pain, God brought the right people with the right words in front of me. I needed His strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.
I miss V more than words can express. I remember these feelings from last summer too. I woke up several times that first night after she left and felt panicked that I didn't know where she was. Maybe you remember the first time your newborn baby slept through the night and you awakened in a panic because you hadn't been demanded for in hours, it was kind of like that. Thankfully, that feeling has subsided now too. We have chatted on messenger with her, exchanging "I love yous" and lots of smiley faces.
While departure was extremely difficult, I am trusting it wasn't good-bye but just a 'see you soon' departure. I am trusting that God is a faithful God and has good plans for V and our family, whatever that ends up looking like. We are moving forward in faith with adoption.
We are hoping to complete our home study in September and get travel dates after the new year! Obviously, when you are working with two different country's governments there can be hold ups, so we are trying not to depend upon that time line.
Funds are an obvious big hurdle to overcome too. We are currently selling t-shirts as a fundraiser. See the link below if you are interested in purchasing one. We are also working with some old friends on another possible fundraiser too for the beginning of October (more details to come). And I am planning to do another garage sale at the end of August. God is already providing through kind and generous people and situations for us and V. We feel so blessed. Amidst the pain I feel of being separated from V, I have never felt more secure and held by my Savior. Truly it is a 'peace that endureth' and God's presence cheers me and guides me. Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me!
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