There is an elephant in the room. Its name is departure. It seems to be getting bigger everyday. It is mean and scary and no one wants to get near it.
But........
It is going to happen, whether we like it or not. Most of you who will read this are parents. Imagine giving your child away....heart clenches, sweaty palms, tear filled eyes, am I right?!?! The thought is terrifying.
That is how I feel every time I look at the calendar.
It seems so natural to have L as part of our lives now. I look forward to her sleepy face greeting me in the morning. I love going through the grocery aisles and picking out foods I know she will enjoy. My nose is even adjusting to the overly sweet teenage body spray she uses five hundred times a day. I treasure the afternoons when the house is quiet (at least a few days a week) and she curls up with my favorite quilt (which I haven't used at all since she arrived) and puts the recliner legs up and we sew or watch tv.
All of those things fly through my mind each day and in the background August 4th keeps knocking. I don't want to answer the door. She should just stay here forever, but she isn't mine legally and I have to send her back to a place where she doesn't have a nice comfy bed, sisters to bug her, mama's favorite quilt to wrap up in, more than enough food to fill her belly and so much more. And it is going to be hard. I am going to be a mess. I tear up looking at the calendar.
Jesus is in control, He's got this. I can be a hot mess because I find rest and comfort in Him. I try to play that on repeat in my head with all the other thoughts that occur.
So in the little time left before the elephant overtakes the room, I pray, I love on her a bit more, I soak up her laughter, eye rolling, sassy personality, and pickle eating self!
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