Crawling Backwards

So lately I've been able to watch how Baby crawls and it got me thinking. She can now get up on all fours and do the rocking back and forth but has not been able to move forward. But she has mastered crawling backwards. It is funny how she sees a toy she wants so she works hard to get up and then she is ready to go and get that toy then suddenly she is moving backwards. She can't understand why she can never get the toy and the fact that the toy is even further from her pudgy little fingers! She's moving her body and doing the right thing but going in the wrong direction.

Sometimes I feel like I do that with the Lord. I master getting up on all fours and I can rock but then I choose not to move forward. Sometimes the Lord wants me to do something that is out of my comfort zone and in a place where I don't want to go. It is scary and I've never done it before. Baby has never used those muscles to make herself move forward. She knows backwards now really well and she feels safe there so she keeps going back. I keep going back to the place where I am safe. If I never learn and trust and be faithful to the Lord then I'll never learn to crawl forward. Once Baby learns to crawl forward she will be able to get her toys and get the dog and move on to pulling herself up and then walking. There are so many exciting steps for her to learn about still. If I obey God and crawl forward He has so many new "toys" for me to gain too. Listening and obeying the Holy Spirit is hard to do sometimes when it makes me so uncomfortable. I'd rather crawl backwards but I know I have to learn to crawl forwards in order to walk with the Lord in the way He wants.