A Twitch in My Eye

I have a twitch in my eye. I went to bed early tonight and have laid there for an hour thinking nonstop about my twitch, which then seems to make it twitch even more. I can't think, I can't sleep. So I thought to myself, "I'll go blog all my thoughts and see if it relieves the twitch in my eye." So here we go folks...

First, let's start with the twitch. It started this morning, mid-morning. I first started getting twitches when I was in high school and on the newspaper staff. It was the first time in my life I had pressure stress. We had serious deadlines and I was an editor in charge of writers and getting my pages completed. I started to twitch in my eyebrow and in my leg. Then obviously the twitch eventually came and went with the stress. In college my twitch came back a couple of times but college was relatively easy stress to deal with. Since college I haven't had a twitch at all. NOW IT'S BACK! I don't know why exactly but it is. My twitch is in my right eyelid. A little nerve that jumps every few seconds. Annoying...YES. I think the twitch itself is causing me stress and anxiety. Seriously people, who actually gets twitches!?!? (besides me I guess) Josh even gave me a massage tonight from head to toe in hopes that it would relax me and get rid of the twitch then we turned the light out and went to bed but alas, I laid there unable to sleep because of this stupid twitch. *sigh*

Adria has been a bear the last two days. I'm thinking this is the cause of the twitch. I am home all day, every day. I love spending time with Adria but I have remembered why I am NOT a stay at home mom at this point in my life. I also remember why I don't want to have another baby. She is cranky and irritable and by the end of the day so am I. I wish there was a way to know what her problem is so I can fix it.

I hate our neighbors dogs. It is 10:30pm and they are still outside barking up a storm. Which sometimes causes our dogs to start barking which then wakes Adria up. Seriously, put your dogs inside after 9pm. Maybe this is a contributing factor to the twitch.

My house is dirty and it bothers me. I hate clutter. I hate cobwebs. I hate disorganized junk everywhere. Maybe this is the cause of the twitch.

Josh is working overtime tomorrow so that leaves Saturday as our only family day until next Friday. I don't really like it when Josh works overtime. Maybe this is the cause of the twitch.

I keep thinking about Adria's birth. It bothers me. A lot. I've never told anyone how much her birth bothers me. I think about it often. Perhaps that is why I don't want to have another baby. I think I was traumatized by the whole thing and never had time to properly deal with it since I have been busy taking care of her since it happened. Maybe this is the cause of the twitch.

I couldn't find spinach fettucine at the grocery store tonight. It is in a recipe I am making tomorrow night for dinner. I walked up and down aisle after aisle but no spinach fettucine was there. Maybe this the reason I have a twitch.

I went to a birthday party on Saturday night. It made me really sad. My best friend since 3rd grade is supposedly a believer but she is not walking with the Lord or even attempting to. It makes me so sad everytime I talk to her or hang out with her. The people she hangs out with are not great people. The depravity of man was greatly apparent at the party and I ended up eating some food talking with a few people and leaving after about forty-five minutes. Maybe this is the cause of the twitch.

I couldn't figure out how to redeem my iTunes gift card and it makes me upset when I can't figure things out. Especially, when it involves technology.

My oriental chicken salad was delicious tonight for dinner.

Josh broke the iron last night because he was grumpy. I bought a new one as a present for him and told him I love him despite him being grumpy and breaking the iron. We had a good laugh about that one.

I stopped at Sonic on the way home and had myself an ocean water. It was delicious and it was the first time I went to our brand new Sonic.

I haven't been taking my thyroid medicine for quite awhile and I'm supposed to go to the doctor to get my thyroid levels checked soon and I keep freaking out about because I don't want the doctor to be mad at me for not taking my medicine. So I keep putting off scheduling the appointment.

I need to call the dentist because it is time for my teeth to be cleaned again but the office is up in Carmel and somehow it is long distance so I have to use my cell phone to call them. Sometimes I don't reception in the house with my cell. That bugs me too.

My flower beds are a weedy nasty mess. I hate that.

I don't like going to our church anymore because Adria won't ever stop crying when I put her in the nursery and some people there have made some unkind comments about why Adria is the way she is. It really bugs me and hurts my feelings. Shouldn't the body of Christ be uplifting to a new mother, not tearing me down one comment at a time.

Sometimes it sucks to be the mom because I can't ever cry because I'm the one mopping up the tears of my daughter.

Okay so those are all the thoughts at the front of my brain tonight and writing them all out didn't help get rid of the twitch. I'm grumpy and going to bed and I'm going to pray myself to sleep hopefully, and tomorrow I'll wake up with a better attitude about life in general and maybe just maybe my twitch will be gone!!